[clan meeting] GOT ME SCREAMIN'

★ The silver tabby had padded into camp sometime around sun-high, utterly exhausted and weighed down by what felt like the entire Clan piled onto his shoulders. Of course that wasn't an inaccurate description, they sort of were piled there. For him to carry. He could only hope that he had the strength in himself to be able to completely bear their weight. Doubt prickled through the tabby's pelt once more, but he shouldered it aside.

Minnowstar had never expected--or really wanted--to become leader of WindClan. Ruststar should have served for many more seasons, as well as her deputy Willowbreeze. But they had died tragically. An apprentice--Sedgepaw's sister Rainpaw--had been too close to Earth's Edge on a crumbling piece of ground. Upon seeing this, Ruststar had rushed to help the young she-cat at the same time Willowbreeze had done the same. The weight of the three cats had dislodged the stone and sent them all plummeting to the sea below.

Sedgepaw had gone to get help and had found Nectarfang, Sandtail and Minnowstar himself--then Minnowstorm--but there had been nothing the patrol could do. They managed to find Ruststar's body, her lives beaten from her like the waves eroding stone, but there was no trace of Rainpaw or Willowbreeze.

If Willowbreeze was alive, surely StarClan would have turned me away though, the deputy always became Clan leader next. Unless they too were killed at the same time. His pelt crawled with dismay, this never should have happened. They should have been here, alive and well.

Nectarfang had kept the Clan together and out of panic, losing both a leader and a deputy was a shock no cat could ask for. Still, Minnowstar didn't have the luxury to be shocked. He was the Clan leader now, nominated by Nectarfang and sent to receive his nine lives. It seemed so far away, even though it was only the previous night. He kept expecting Ruststar to prowl into the den and ask what he was doing there.

Ever since he'd set paw into camp he had been hyper-aware of how different his home was. Storkstar's words rang in his ears like a constant mantra; Your old life is no more.

A chill swept through the tiny tomcat, and he hunkered down lower in his den. Part of him wished that the floor would somehow gain teeth and gobble him up, nine lives and all. His courage faltered, as he sat alone in his new den. He felt like he was leagues away from the cats now, but no different really. The feeling of energy he'd been granted as each life surged through him had faded away leaving him feeling surprisingly... lonely. Distant from every cat--would he have no way to breach the gap?

You're thinking of this at a really very terrible time, the small tom thought, squeezing both eyes shut and lashing his tail irritably. You're supposed to be thinking of who to choose for the Clan deputy.

Part of him wish he had close friends, but Yewflower had died due to sickness and she'd been the cat he'd been friendliest with after Longpaw and Silverpaw. He kept his eyes tightly squeezed shut, wishing that there could be a sign from StarClan to make him choose--but something told him that this was his decision alone. An important, first decision, the one to be made for all of WindClan.

But who? Who to chose? Minnowstar's claws dug into the ground of his den and he bared his teeth in silence. There was his former apprentice--but no, Sandtail did not wish to be deputy and would not thank him for putting it on his shoulders. Besides, the cat was young yet, even if he was training an apprentice. Minnowstar's whiskers twitched as he hunkered down, deep in thought.

What about Crowstep? Minnowstar thought, the tom was mild-mannered and he thought he might get along well enough with him. But no, Minnowstar was mild-mannered himself--it wouldn't be a good enough balance for WindClan to get a proper Deputy. The cat's whiskers twitched, and he lifted his head--eyes brightening--Oh! Of course!

How could he have been so mouse-brained to overlook it? There was one cat that had taken charge when the Clan needed it most--in fact Minnowstar had half-expected StarClan to turn him away and ask for her instead. Twitching his whiskers he glanced outside, and saw that the moon was shedding silverlight into the den.

It was time then.

Minnowstar left his den and his silver tabby fur was bleached by the moonlight. Bunching his muscles he launched himself up and into the branches of a dead tree. Carefully he balanced there, tail lifting up above his head as he gazed out over the Clan.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Tall Branch for a Clan meeting!" Minnowstar yowled, and he surprised himself because his words seemed so loud and clear. So calm. Inwardly his heart was hammering, but not even a whisker twitched to betray his nervousness. No, this was important to the Clan. He had to be strong now, to prove to them that they had nothing to fear so long as they followed them.

This is so much responsibility, Minnowstar thought as he watched the cats enter the clearing. They had known, of course, that he would choose a deputy around this time. It was Clan custom after all. He spotted Dawnpaw pushing her way out of the apprentice's den, loudly yowling about how she wished she could sleep to any cat who could hear. His eyes raked the clearing to find Sandtail wandering aimlessly about the center of camp, before he chose a place next to the nursery and turned heavily lidded blue eyes up at him.

Even you see me differently, don't you? Minnowstar's tail twitched back and forth as he eyed the young cat. He looked away so that he could look for the cat that he was naming deputy. He needed her here, above all else.